why i think i sleep during the day

i have a job where generally speaking people shoot me stuff during normal work hours 8am-5pm

today i went to sleep around 7 and woke up around 6 give or take a few hours

i think i sleep during the day because i prefer my own autonomy without interruption so that i can stray 5 hours away from things without emergencies

note that when i am sleeping if people ping me they can wake me up to get a quicker response.

i'm not worried about it

to me it's just ... appreciating life now
wish i could do more
i have so much free time
that just burns a hole in the sky
i mean
i just don't want anyone else in my life until i have space for them
unless they can create their own space
i can respect that
i'm open
but i'm not going to go out and try to make my space in someone else's life until i've got that space in my own
i mean, i just don't want to always have to work for it
i want to get into a pattern of making choices on what i want to do instead of what i have to do
right now that pattern involves
just doing whatever it takes to get as much gse stock as possible
because i think gse stock is the path to increasing the value of my time
in theory i will get to spend less time thinking about if i want to do stuff because of it's cost or not and more time figuring out neat stuff to do that is within my budget
the problem is that i don't like trading future time so that i can do stuff now, i want to do stuff now and not have it directly impact what i have to do unless it's something i want to do
there is the challenge of truly understanding what it is that one wants to do and my primary motivation for getting rich as quick as possible

i was wrong

the third song on the bass nectar unlimited sound track disqualifies it from being as good as tame impala
best record ever
the only real way to tell how you feel about music is to walk around outside with it on
in the sun
with people around
because the stuff that makes you feel embarassed is not the right stuff
like, "hey, i'm bringing this shit into your life right now"
i mean, if it's good, then it's cool
just a fleeting feels

breath of heaven

piece of me

i dont want to get stuck
part of me wants to make more money
part of me wants to date girls in other countries where they love me, because here they don't care about me
part of me wants to date girls here and start a family
part of me wants to live on a boat
part of me wants to rent
part of me wants to own
part of me wants to see my parents
part of me wants to see my relatives
part of me likes it where i'm at

things that scared me in the last 24 hours

my heartbeat whenever i lay down and try to sleep
when someone knocked on my bedroom door
when someone knocked on the door to the door to the apartment
when someone knocks on my door they talk.
i dont like these people
i wish they'd leave
they have nowhere to go
things i dont like hearing is the phrase "call the cops"

which seems to be a refrain of people who are weaksauce... who let bad into their lives and don't protect themselves from the wild animals and here i am.

i've been catching starfish. today i didn't swim out past the buoys

this is the last time

maybe it's me that has nowhere to go.... BUT UP

crapes

I don't know what exactly constitutes a crape but when I can buy these things frozen and roll them around on a medium hot skillet and get an equivalent to something better than blueberry pie rolls, I mean, what's not to love?